Holidays

So, the holidays are here. Time for running around like a chicken on crack, spending money we'd rather not spend and otherwise working ourselves up into a guilt-induced frenzy. I'm not sure why we, as a society, can't seem to put the brakes on this lunacy. The celebration of something good, miraculous and eternal has degenerated into a series of trips to overpriced stores to purchase things that we're not sure recipients want, but hope they'll appreciate. I'd rather stick to the family gathering and enjoy each others' company, in the spirit of thanksgiving, hope and peace. But, like every other rat in the race, I'll buy, buy buy, wrap, wrap, wrap and mail, mail, mail.

Hell, hell, hell...

Cancer

Given the recent passing of a friend who had metastatic breast cancer, and the seeming epidemic of new diagnoses, the following poem sprouted from my head while noodling on WriteorDie:

Cancer
overgrowth of cells
invasive, opportunistic
life-altering
life-ending
all encompassing
masses that remove
those whom we hold dear
incomprehensible
soul-leeching
someone knows the point
they must be forced to share
why the internal kudzu
why the slow depletion of life
why is it we cannot find a way
to end that which kills.

So, here we are...

A few short weeks away from our presidential election. Our choices are an elderly former prisoner of war who apparently has not one scruple or shred of dignity. He graduated 4th from the bottom of his academy class, having faced expulsion several times for multiple offenses. He was saved from that fate by being fortunate enough to be the son and grandson of four-star generals. When an illustrious career in the military didn't pan out (after crashing three planes), he married a rich man's daughter, applying for the wedding license before being divorced from his newly-disabled first wife. His running mate is a woman who cared more about firing her jerk of a brother-in-law than finding funding for rape kits for victims of sexual assault. Her conservative views apparently didn't soak down into her now-pregnant, about to be shotgun-weddinged teenage daughter.

Our other choice is Barack Obama, a man of dignity, principle and apparent morals, supported by a wife who worked as hard as he did to achieve positions still rare for African Americans. A man who turned down offers with prestigious law firms to see how he could contribute on the community level in Chicago. A man who knows that you get more with honey than with vinegar, who respects women and cares about restoring the faith of the world in the good inherent in America, as opposed to shoving America down it's throat sideways.

I can only hope that this country can see the flip-flopping, image-managing megalomaniac that John McCain is. Whatever the issue, if it doesn't benefit John McCain, it's off his radar. I can only imagine what that means for health care, education and any other rights afforded to those who do not have a wealthy spouse, influential parents and seven homes.

Not that I ever considered voting for him, but I was COMPLETELY through when I read that he called his wife a "cunt" in front of reporters. Yeah...this is the man who should decide who sits on the Supreme Court to consider matters like Roe vs. Wade.

Meds Are Our Friends

So, at age 48, after running like a gerbil on a hyperdrive wheel, I find that I don't bounce back from the rough stuff as easily as I used to. I'm tired, menopausal and depressed and would kill for 6 months (illness-free, let me stipulate - gotta be careful what you wish for!) to sit and figure out what to do next. Would it be wrong to just quit my job and go intern at the radio station? To spend all day around music would make me incredibly happy. I find that I really don't want to be responsible for more than my children and my home. Honestly. I'd find owning a dog overwhelming right now (though I would like a new cat). Sad, as I'm in the most high profile position that I've ever had. I think I'll give it 2 years. After that, I may go work in the campus bookstore...how bad could it be!??

Why Are We Here?

A quote from Rick Warren, author of the The Purpose Driven Life: "(God's) more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings." We can spend a lifetime running from task to task without stopping to reflect on who we are and why we're here. I often find myself asking "Jesus, why am I here? What do you want me to do?" I've found that I'm a whole lot happier when I stay focused on being of service. I'd rather leave that as my legacy than material goods. Life is good!

How Life Keeps Us Grounded

We did a huge, huge publicity push for my premed information program. I had a spot on NPR radio, a mention in the Courier, a profile on PopCity and a two page spread in the Pitt Chronicle. The buzz was terrific. I bought a few new outfits over the weekend so I would look more like an executive staffer, but with a "feminine flair". Today I'm wearing a black and white patterned tulip skirt with a silk cardigan that has a near, but not quite total match of pattern on the button lining. Got my hair done on Friday; dropped a couple of pounds. I'm thinking I'm ON A ROLL!!

I started to feel a little squishy this morning - Mother Nature paying a visit after being MIA last month, leaving raging hot flashes in her place. So, I went to the bathroom to check my business. I pulled everything together expeditiously and left the ladies room feeling well put together.

I returned to my desk, swept my skirt under me as I prepared to sit. It was only then that I realized that one of the "petals" of my tulip skirt was firmly tucked into the rear of my pantyhose. I have no idea who in Nursing Education and Research was the recipient of the sight of my waning moon.

God has a way of bringing us back to reality, doesn't he...?

Sunny - Finally!

It is almost unbelievable how much difference it makes when the sun shines. The lift to my spirits is palpable. My step is lighter and the fact that I'm horribly behind in project seems to not weigh as heavily. I just wish the change could extend to my hot flashes. Hot flashes, my ass! This experience qualifies as a temporary elevation to solar temperature. That's the new term TEST - flash does nothing to convey the thought of what we're going through. Help us, Jesus!

Starting Again!

The Kalahari Honeybushes started up in 2005, only to die a slow and natural death because we bitches are all incredibly busy! Jordana's husband got sick, but we needled him back to health. Dayna switched jobs (and thank God, because the last one was just nuts), and Paula got a new job (I will try to make a success out of a near impossible task). Through it all, we're still here and I hope still able to write.

Many thoughts are swirling through my head; none fit for family consumption (they don't REALLY want to know what I'm thinking - not really). More to come, but right now I need more wine, I must finish folding the laundry, and I wish I could get my hands on a hot boy. Oh well...at least the laundry will be folded and I can have more wine.